do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
