I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
why is half of my head shaved?
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