I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
