He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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