We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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