Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
