All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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