If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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