With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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