Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
