I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
