I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
