Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
