She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
