theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
