What did we do last night that was yellow?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
