please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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