Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I looked at my own cervix.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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