bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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