Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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