like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
