She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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