4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
