you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
