what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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