swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
