I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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