no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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