The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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