he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
