She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
