omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
