I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
