spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
