Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That accounts for only three of the penises
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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