Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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