Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
