I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
