We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
