This girl is more easily done than said...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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