And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
