is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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