can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
