so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
