During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
