Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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