Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
