you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sorry about my life...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
