The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
