I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
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