Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize