it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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