I look better un-naked...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
