I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
