Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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